


One Day We'll Fly Again

by stanuriscurlis



Category: The Get Down (TV)
Genre: Also drama, Bad spelling on purpose, Darkness ahead, Depression, Homophobic Language, I'll probably add more tags later, Long ass story, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, Tags May Change, bad language, boys in love with boys, boys in love with girls, drama dram drama, girls in love with girls, lots of sadness, my dramatic children, shit writing probably, so extra
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-24
Updated: 2017-06-26
Packaged: 2018-10-23 08:01:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10715442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stanuriscurlis/pseuds/stanuriscurlis
Summary: They were flyin',,.what happened?With Annie not done with the boys,what will they risk for each other?(I suck at summaries)





	1. Quicksand

 

It happened so rapidly. All of it, but the night was extraordinary-The beginning at least...

Shaolin was on top of the world, with his brothers. His boys, with Zeke. The Bronx was illuminated by the starlit sky, Manhattan’s silhouette to the side of them. It felt like a scene out of one of his comics. Real-life Bronx heroes standing above them, watching them battle for their freedom and Cadillac backing down. It really was a perfect night, it was a colossal triumph for all of them. A true victory against something that seemed bigger than them…

That was, is, bigger than all of them. Fuck, what were they thinking? Trying to get away from Annie was impossible. Impossible like being trapped in quicksand or some shit. Shaolin would know, he has been descending into her pit for years now. He couldn’t really explain it, he didn’t have the right words, that was Zeke’s trade anyways.

Maybe everything was Shaolin’s fault... Maybe he knew somewhere deep inside himself that he would never leave Annie’s grasp. Maybe that’s why he let Boo-Boo run drugs, why he told Ra-Ra to come make a deal with Annie, to perform at her club where she saw them perform, the reason why he made them all sign those stupid-ass contracts… why he made Zeke sign a contract with a gangster when he didn’t want to. Hell, maybe he subconsciously sabotaged all of them, so they would sink down into that damn quicksand with him, so he didn’t have to be alone no more. FUCK NO. He couldn’t start thinking like that, he would never do anything to hurt them. Never. That’s why he went back to Annie. To protect them. That’s why he is laying here on her bed right now, protecting them. Who knows, maybe he can smooth talk her into getting Boo-Boo’s charges cleared or some shit…

“What are you thinkin’ bout, sugar?”

“Nothing Annie…” Shaolin whispers.

“Now baby, tell Annie what has your mind away from her? Not that sweet honey-skinned boyfriend of yours again, I hope.”

Shaolin gritted his teeth. “He aint my boyfriend. Why you bringin him up anyway?”

“Boy you better watch your tone with me!” She sneered.

“Sorry Annie… actually I wanted to ask yah somethin…You know the young-one, the one you got the cops on... well I was just wonderin if….?”

Before Shaolin could ask Annie interrupted. “Child, you are out of your god-damn mind! I’m still upset with you. You have a lot of making up to do, before you go asking any favors! Now, come over here and do what you do best and give Annie a proper ‘I’m sorry’.

 ---

Shaolin has been back working for Annie for almost 2 months now. The first month Annie never let him out of her sight, but after she trusted him again she started letting him sleep back at his temple. It’s nice- he can smoke when he wants, go out when he wants, and everything is almost back to normal. He is even back to selling drugs. He doesn’t touch his turntables anymore though- just them sitting there was a constant reminder of his failure, his fuck up, but Napoleon covered them with some old ratty blanket, ‘out of sight- out of mind’ he had said one depressive night.

None of this would hurt as much, but he misses his get down brothers, he misses Books especially, which is something he will deny, even in his head. He hasn’t heard from Zeke or even seen him around anywhere.

Unlike Ra-Ra who hates his guts right now, he sees him everywhere, of course, glaring at him from afar.

One positive thing in all of this is that Dizzee doesn’t hate him. Dizzee even comes over to Shao’s temple with that pretty boy, Thor, sometimes. It’s comforting, he can pretend everything is alright for a few hours. They all smoke together and he listens to Dizzee talk nonsense about the universe, hoping to hear him slip something in about Zeke. He never does, but Napoleon still oddly asks about Boo-Boo a lot. Dizzee never gives him straight answers- which is exactly why Shaolin doesn’t ask about Zeke, that reason and because he’s still trying to tell himself he doesn’t need Books by his side…by his side writing rhymes, writing poems in those little note-pads of his.

By Shao’s side, where he belongs.

Zeke was always close enough Shao could see the messy handwriting, but far enough away he couldn’t see exactly what’s been written. Shao always played this game in his head, can I get close enough to read a sentence or two? Every time he wins- he gets to where he can read all the thoughts on the page- if he’d just look down, but he never does or would. He refuses to look at the scribblings- instead he forces himself to stare at the curve of Zeke’s lip- stare at beauty mark on the edge of it.

_‘I must be higher than I thought… or maybe it’s the_ _alcohol’_ Shao thinks to himself, in the safety of his apartment. On his couch with Napoleon across from him.

“Yo, little dude...” He mumbles out loud, his tongue feels numb, which makes him laugh for a few minutes. Napoleon laughs just as long. “Why do you… think that I never read the words on the page? I had the chance all the chances??” Shaolin slurs curiously.

Napoleon laughs louder. “What are you talking about Shaolin?”

“B, I’m talking about B man, books y’know, Zeke?”

“I know Zeke, yes.” Napoleon apparently must think Shaolin is a comedian all the sudden.

“Stop laughin, yo, fuck this is a serious question. Why didn’t I just l look down and enter his mind for just like a second, could yah imagine, if I just read one of those pages I could been lifted from that bitch’s quicksand. He just smelt so good y’know and I just said fuck the pages and stared at his face, his mark, you know the mark- on his lip, his lips” Shaolin was rambling bad now, he even knew it in his drunken stupor. Suddenly he felt sick, he shouldn’t be talkin’ like this. This was gay shit and he wasn’t gay. He wasn’t no faggot. “I ain’t no faggot…” He barely whispered out loud.

Napoleon sighed sadly, “Maybe you should go lay down, Shao, it’s okay we can talk about this later if you still feel up to it, I understand, but right now you sayin some stuff that sober Shao doesn’t want me to hear. I just don’t want you to say something you might regret tomorrow.”

“Yeah, bed sounds good man, tell Zeke I’ll spin with him ‘morrow, spinnin’ and grinnin’- grinnin’ and spinnin’.”

Napoleon helped him get into bed and quietly left the room.

The next day he tried to avoid Napoleon and any discussion or thought of Zeke.

Avoiding Napoleon was easy enough, but he didn’t think it was possible for Books to leave his mind.

 ---

Dirty. Dirty. Dirty. Dirty is all Shaolin thought as he let Annie light the cigarette hanging from his mouth.

“That was some of the best fucking you’ve ever done, baby. It was almost like you had someone else on the mind!” Annie cackled.

“Never Annie. Just got you.” Dirty. Fuck, he felt so dirty. He gave her a small fake smile. That’s all he was- fake and dirty.

“Good, you know how I get jealous, sugar.” She said lighting her own cigarette- still cackling, like a witch. That's what she is, a witch.

“I have a new job for you.”

“Yes Annie. What is it?”

“Those boys, the ones that signed my contract. I want you to bring them here, they did sign a contract after all.” She took a long drag of her cigarette, looking a lot more serious now. “You didn’t think them rhyming a bit would get them out, did you? You’re dumber than I thought.”

“No Annie, I can’t bring them here, I won’t,” He heard the slap before he felt the burn of it. “Annie, Cadillac ripped up the contracts.” His eyes started to glisten with tears as he rubbed his face where the hand hit. He must protect them, he wouldn’t let them get caught up in this shit.

“Now baby, I did your favor- for you, I got the little runt out of trouble, he’ll be at Les Inferno tomorrow. I’m sure the others would want to see him, don’t you? Besides tearing the contracts only hurt poor Annie’s feelings and that useless son of mine doesn’t make the decisions. I own those boys now. You can either bring them here nicely tomorrow or I get my men to go get them. You don’t want that, they can be mean as fuck, and one of them, Lawrence, has a crush on your little afro-headed boyfriend. I could always send him to get the little shit. Don’t make this hard on anyone baby, bring them here tomorrow. I just want to talk music business with them.”

“Fuck that, Annie!” Shaolin jumped up. Face red with rage, who the fuck was Lawrence? Annie can't do this to them, it wasn't fair, but when did Annie ever give a shit about fair? “I thought we had a deal. I came here, you said you'd leave them alone.”

“Boy, sit your ass down, before you really piss me off.” She said putting out her cigarette in the thick-glass ashtray beside the bed.

“Fuck you! You ain’t touchin them.”

Before the words even left his mouth Annie’s fists fell down on him, and then soon after she switched to the ashtray she just used. Shaolin fell off the bed, body already aching but the hits didn't stop coming and they eventually started falling on his face. 

Annie had never beaten him so hard before, not like this. Especially not on his face.

It felt like it went on for hours, but it couldn’t have been longer than 10 minutes.

“Bring them tomorrow.”

“Please… Annie…not them, anyone else.”

“I said bring them tomorrow.”

Shaolin never wished more than in that moment to drown in that quicksand- let it shallow him whole, stop his breathing. End this.

He spits out blood.

“Ok! Yes Annie…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be up soon, if you like this one, of course.  
> I haven't decided yet if this story is going to be in just Shaolin's/Zeke's perspective or everyone's perspective  
> Tell me what you think!  
> Love,  
> Zemi


	2. Colors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've decided to do different people's povs for this story. 
> 
> This chapter is in Dizzee's pov !!

 

Colors, colors surrounded them. Blue, green, and red paint sprayed on the walls. Splattered on their clothes. Thor’s hair turned dark, the bright-blonde hidden by clumps of paint. Paint was everywhere. Dizzee even had some in his long eyelashes.

They were having another one of their wild nights, this time in Shao’s temple. He let them have one of the rooms in the back to paint and sleep in when the world became too much and they just needed a place to be themselves.

Dizzee suspected Shao also wanted them near to fill the emptiness in his chest, the emptiness of losing Zeke. Dizzee tried to talk to him once about it, but that just ended with Shaolin yelling at him, storming off, and being pissed for days- so now Dizzee pretends Zeke doesn’t exist around Shao. It’s hard though, making a brother disappear from his mind (even if only for an hour), but he tells himself it’s for Shao’s sake- Shaolin doesn’t want to hear about Zeke.

“Let’s paint a galaxy on the ceiling! We can even connect those string lights, like Shao has, across it, that way it shines. I bet that would make your eyes shimmer even brighter, babe.” Thor whispers sweetly.

They were currently laid in a make-shift fort. Thor was laying on his back and Dizzee was cuddled into his side. If Dizzee had to pick his favorite thing to do with Thor, besides painting, it would be just laying with him-cuddling up together. Dizzee just liked being near him, it was exhilarating. It made his heart pump and forehead sweat. The sweat would rub off on Thor’s own forehead or in his hair when they kissed, and it made Dizzee feel like they were mixing together, like two different colors- blended into each other.

“That’s a magnificent idea, Thor! We can lay beneath our own space, stars coruscating above us. Rumi can float in the lights and feel at home.” Dizzee jumped up and started gathering various spray paints. “Let’s begin!”

Thor smiled lovingly at him. “Dizz, we can do that later, come lay back here with me.”

“What?! You can’t put a grand idea like that in my head and expect me to wait! We must begin! pleaseeee! I can’t do it without you, I need you to keep me balanced while I stand on the stool.” Dizzee laughed softly as Thor staggered out from the small fort muttering to himself.

They slowly began painting or giving into artistic madness again, stopping every few minutes to kiss, paint each other some more, or just stare at the other’s faces.

Time was lost to them, but it always was. Together they existed in eternity. Seconds became centuries and hours blurred into fleeting moments. It was like they didn’t even notice, or care. All that mattered was the feeling of harsh bristles on velvet skin and faint lips grazing rainbow colored complexions.

Dizzee was sure it was love that was obfuscating them like this- distancing them to the point they were so absent from the reality that wasn’t each other; they didn’t hear Shaolin knocking or see him walking in on them.

“What the fuck is you doin’!?” They were jolted out of whatever trance they were in by Shaolin’s loud-confused interruption.

Dizzee looked down at their newly awakened bodies and the mess they had made. Paint was dripping off the ceiling, tinted dots speckled the empty floor where it fell. The string lights they were going to use as stars were wrapped around his slim body and afro. Thor was standing on the stool they were using a look of confusion forming on his face- his paint dried hair pulled into a bun on top of his head and spray paint cans stuffed into his jeans for easy access.

Dizzee appreciated Thor for a bit longer before glancing at the open-mouthed Shaolin and a concerned looking Napoleon standing behind him- holding a gross looking piece of meat.

“Shao… um we were just- ah- you know, creating our own space.”

“We can see that!” Napoleon quipped strangely trying to hand Shaolin the piece of meat.

“Yeah, it’s cool guys. It smells like pure fumes in here though. Open a mother fucking window, would yah?” Shaolin said soon after- losing the stunned expression. “Sorry for interrupting… whatever the fuck this is, but man we gotta talk… more like, you gotta listen.”

“What’s wrong?” Dizzee asked and then stepped closer to Shao noticing his battered face. “Woah, what happened to your identity man?”

“Identity? What the fuck you talkin about?”

“He’s talking about your face, Shao- please put this on it!” Napoleon asked waving the moldy piece of animal flesh in Shaolin’s face.

“What the fuck am I supposed to do with some ancient-nasty-ass meat, Leon, I told yah already get that shit outta my face!” Shaolin yelled.

“I snuck into the movies once and the movie guy put a chunk on his black eye to make the swellin go down- I had to go and get it from that old-perverted Italian guy’s shop down the street. Just put it on your stupid face, please!”

Shaolin rolled his eyes. “I’m not puttin’ no meat on my eye, and I told your little ass to stay away from that place!” He continued after snatching it from Napoleon’s hand and throwing it across the room. Napoleon huffed loudly at him before crossing his arms against his chest.

Shaolin looked back to Dizzee then, “fuck, where was I- listen dude… Boo- Boo is cleared, Annie got him out.”

“What?! Really?” Napoleon said jumping in front of Shaolin- he looked absolutely thrilled (the meat fight forgotten) and Shaolin looked baffled at his outburst.

Dizzee smiled knowingly at Napoleon, before looking back at Shaolin and asking excitedly, “Why’d she get him out? And If he’s out, where is he?”

“Well that’s what you gotta listen about man, Annie, she fuck- Dizzee, she said Cadillac tearing up those contracts didn’t count for shit. Boo will be Les Inferno tomorrow. She wants all the Get Down Brothers there… man, she said one way or another. I tried to stop her…”

Thor hopped down from the stool at this. “Fuck that, Dizzee isn’t going nowhere near her!” He shouted.

“He doesn’t have a fucking choice, Dizz you have to go- it’ll look a whole lot better if you just come with me, don’t piss her off.”

“She the one that hurt you?” Dizzee asked somberly. “You been workin for her again?”

“I had to, she said she’d kill you guys, I didn’t want to work for her- didn’t feel like I had anythin else to do anyway…”

“Earth brother- I’m sorry you felt that way. I wish you had told me though.” Dizzee started and then looked down. “Okay, I’ll go- and I’ll help you get Ra-Ra and Zeke to go as well. Trust me, you’re going to need my help with that. We ain’t working for her though, and she fuck aint gonna steal our souls man- I just want Boo back and everyone safe.”

“No way, Rumi, please don’t go there.” Thor pleaded quietly next to Dizzee now, grabbing his arm gently.

“It seems like I haven’t the option, we’ll go, see what she wants, and if we have to or whenever the time is right we’ll fight her again, we’ll break free for good.” Dizzee turned to Thor and hugged him tightly. “I’ll be alright, I promise. I’ll come see you right after and tell you all about whatever shit goes down.”

“I don’t like this one bit, but I know you’re aching to see your brother. Please just be safe.” Thor whispered into his ear.

They pulled apart- hearing Napoleon loudly open the squeaky window. “Do you think she’s gonna let Miles, come back home?” Dizzee smiled hearing the name Miles, it was relieving- his brother away from the pigs.

“She fucking better.” Dizzee heard Shao breathe out angrily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is going to be in Napoleon's pov!!  
> Please let me know what you think!!  
> Every comment gives me courage to continue.  
> Thank you so much for the love and kindness.  
> Love,  
> Zemi


	3. Distant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> OKAY NAPOLEON TOTALLY CALLS BOO BOO MILES
> 
> This is Napoleon's pov
> 
> italics = flashback

Soon after Shao talked to Dizzee about Annie’s demands they ran out in search of the other boys- much to his dismay, Shaolin made it clear that Napoleon was to stay in the temple. ‘gotta keep far from Annie and her boys- they still out looking for you’ he had said.

Napoleon understood- he really did- he for sure didn’t want to be anywhere near those people. He sees them enough in his nightmares, but he would be lying to himself if he didn’t say he wanted to make sure Miles was okay.

The same way Miles always made sure Napoleon was okay…

_-flashback-_

_Napoleon remembers the cigar more than anything, the fiery red eye if it- glaring at him- it created thick smoke that filled the red Buick and made his eyes water. The unknown man, the one who put the hit on Annie (now known as Wolf) was sitting in the driver’s seat and Annie’s son, Cadillac, was in the passenger’s seat next to him. They were both coked out of their minds and fighting over the music- Cadillac wanted to listen to ‘his disco hit’ and Wolf wanted to keep playing that same damn song._

_Napoleon could feel his brother shaking next to him, he wished he could turn to him and say, ‘everything will be okay, I won’t let them hurt you- just don’t say anything’, but he didn’t want to draw the attention back to them. The look in his brother eyes worried him more than anything, the look of someone who was ready to confess everything, Napoleon knew it was in their best interest to keep quiet- he tried to convey this by meeting his brother’s eyes, but he wouldn’t even look at Napoleon._

_“Yo we’ve listened to his song for the past fucking hour, man, if I have to hear it one more time I’m going to put my head through the fuckin’ window.” Cadillac complained before looking at them in the backseats. “Why the fuck are we even here?! Why’d we pick up these kids, Wolf?”_

_It was a question Napoleon had been asking himself as well, Wolf had just placed the hit on Annie and it was going to go down in just a few days, why were they back in this devil-red car? Why was his older brother not with them?_

_“I have some business to discuss.” Is all he said before pulling out a wad of cash. “Go down to the shops and buy your mother something nice for me, for her birthday.” He ordered._

_“Shittt no! You can go and get it yourself. I don’t fuckin’ work for you.”_

_“Just go Cadillac!!” Wolf demanded before leaning over, sliding the cash into Cadillac’s front pants pocket, and patting his thigh. Wolf was smirking through this whole interaction and Napoleon sensed there was some kind of cruel joke behind it all._

_“Alright, alright…” Cadillac opened the car door looking down- “Look, don’t hurt them man, they’re just kids.” He said in almost a whisper, looking extremely tired and unlike himself- he then left the car quietly, pulling the money from his pocket._

_‘Listen mister- we- “_

_His brother started to speak before Napoleon interrupted him. “Shut up!”_

_Wolf just laughed lowly before reaching into back and grabbing Napoleon’s long hair- using it to pull him into the passenger seat where Cadillac just was- the seat was still warm. Napoleon opened his mouth to speak but the smoke-smelling man slapped him as soon as he did. Napoleon grabbed his face quickly and heard his brother start crying loudly in the back._

_“What do you want from us? Why are we here” He asked quietly._

_“Pull up your shirt.” Wolf said back, looking out the front window- watching Cadillac walk away- still smirking._

_“What?” Napoleon gaped._

_“Pull up your fucking shirt.” Wolf said again- this time more aggressive._

_Napoleon pulled up his shirt, so it bunched up awkwardly under his arms. His grip was tight holding it up. Wolf just looked at him annoyed and uninterested before taking a long drag from his cigar._

_Time passed by slowly, with Wolf just smoking and Napoleon sitting there with his shirt trapped under his armpits- the whole time that same horrible song playing distantly throughout the car._

_Napoleon’s brother tried to say something but as soon as he started Wolf planted the scorching cherry of his cigar over Napoleon’s side- instinct took over and he grabbed onto Wolf’s wrist trying to pull it away from him, but Wolf was stronger and pressed it against him harder._

_When he finally pulled it away, Napoleon closed his eyes- relief washing over him, but the man wasn’t finished and he burned him again right above his belly-button. Napoleon tried to get out of the car this time but the man held him down firmly._

_This went on for some time and by the end of it, the wetness on his face and his brother’s screaming was distant to him- he was floating around the tight space with the song- out of body. He was so distant that he didn’t flinch as the cigar was taken off his blistered skin for the 10 th time- ashes floated out the cracked window and the chilly air blowing out of the vent made the gushing burns feel worse _

_Or should have, but he was so distant he didn’t care._

_Nor did he care when we saw Cadillac dancing back towards the car with shopping bags in his hand._

_When Cadillac opened the door his face immediately soured- he gently pulled Napoleon away from Wolf and out of the car- He then went to the back door and slung it open to help Napoleon’s brother out._

_“Can you walk?” He asked them kindly. Napoleon nodded with his arm slung around his little brother’s shoulders._

_“I shouldn’t have left you alone with him.” Cadillac said mostly to himself. “Go- get out of here. Try to avoid him- he’s not himself inside.”_

_“not himself inside”_

_“not himself inside”_

_Cadillac kept saying this like a mantra as his head swirled in different directions._

_\---_

_Napoleon felt himself being shaken awake from the nightmare he was having, more like, the nightly routine of reliving the worst moments in his life, but he would take this nightmare or any other over the one where his brothers die- the one where their deaths are just an endless loop in his sleep._

_“Leon, man, wake up?”_

_When his eyes focused, he noticed Miles was looking down at him. He looked concerned and Napoleon guessed it might have something to do with his throat feeling like he has been screaming or the disarray of covers and pillows around Shao’s couch and floor. None of that mattered though because Miles was here and he’s got a hand on Napoleon’s shoulder._

_“I’m still dreaming.” Napoleon mumbles lowly._

_“Are you okay?” Miles shakes him again._

_“I’m okay.” He returns- his voice sounding hoarse._

_“Yeah, sure you are.”_

_“What are you doing here?” Why was Miles here? It was late and a school night. Plus, Shao was out- who the fuck knows where- so it didn’t make sense why he was there._

_“I wanted to come hangout with you.” He told Napoleon like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “And If you’re ‘okay’, why were you crying out?”_

_“Bad dream.” Napoleon didn’t say anything else- not feeling up to talking about it and he could see that Miles wasn’t going to push it. So, neither one of them said anything else about the dream._

_Instead, they stayed up the rest of the night talking about random things and listening to Shao’s records- Which led to Miles trying to teach Napoleon some dance moves and Napoleon falling on his ass repeatedly for Miles to laugh at._

_With every one of Mile’s laughs Napoleon felt less distant. More himself._

_‘he’s not himself inside’ rung in Napoleons ears._

_-end flashback-_

Miles made sure he was okay that night and continued to do so as time went on- especially on the days Napoleon felt distant.

That’s one of the reasons Napoleon wanted to go with Shao today and get the brothers together- he had to know Miles was okay- had to see that he was okay. The other reason was he honestly wanted to be there for Shao.

He knows this must be incredibly difficult for Shao- he can’t imagine what might being going through his head. Seeing Zeke again- having to make Zeke go to Annie. Zeke would refuse- Napoleon just knew it, he just hoped no one would get hurt- that Ra Ra and Zeke will go without a fight- if not for their own sake, for Miles.

Napoleon felt helpless just sitting in the temple like this. If he had the courage, he’d go against Shao’s instructions, but he was still afraid.

He was always afraid of them- of Wolf, Miles told him Wolf was dead, but he didn’t believe it.

Wolf would find him.

Wolf would hurt him again.

_He wasn’t himself inside._

Was he talking about Wolf or himself?

They were both so distant to him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the long wait!  
> I have been really doubting my writing lately.  
> But your kudos & comments really make me want to do my best!  
> I hope this chapter didn't seem out of place.  
> Let me know what you think!  
> Love,  
> Zemi


	4. Ache

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zeke and Ra Ra :)  
> Mostly Ra Ra
> 
> -  
> Bold + Italics = Zeke's notepad

Zeke sat up with a sense of dread, eyes begging for sleep; he had a feeling the day wasn’t going to end well. Ever since he left Shao on that bitter street he had this ache in his chest, but today it was a different ache- it was thumping and constant pain that spread across his chest and up to his head.

Turning over in his small-makeshift bed, he quietly reached for one of his notepads- focusing hard on not waking his aunt or her boyfriend and keeping the golden sun out of his eyes. He began to write:

**_There’s an ache in my chest_ **

**_Where you used to be_ **

**_There’s a sharp burn in my side_ **

**_As I get dressed_ **

**_My girl, my Mylene_ **

**_Flew from the nest_ **

**_Now I’m even more alone_ **

**_And I wish_ **

**_Fuck I wish_ **

**_I could address this distress_ **

**_Understand my thoughts when I imagine you undressed_ **

**_Man, it makes me depressed_ **

**_Shaolin,_ **

**_Knowing that with you at my side_ **

**_You made me feel the best_ **

Sighing Zeke dropped his notepad next to his bed and got up, Ra Ra would be here soon- ever since that devastating night Ra has hung around him every day. It felt like it did when they were kids, before Mylene and Shao- just Ra and Zeke against the world!

Zeke really wished he could go back to those days, back to the way he felt then. Now it seemed every choice he made was wrong.

Melancholy covered him head to toe, like an invisible rain it poured over him, especially late in the night. At 3am when he should be sleeping, he would think of his mom, Mylene, Shao, of all the mistakes he’s made, and the feeling of eternal sadness that made him feel not good enough or a waste of potential.

Though he never would admit this to his friends, most nights he would cry himself to sleep or not sleep at all. Like now, he was currently on day 3 of no sleep. He was sure if he didn’t get any sleep soon enough, he would likely go crazy.

Zeke slowly got dressed, it drained him, moving his long arms and legs into the confinement of clothes. He had just finished putting on his pants when he heard a knock at the door. He hesitated on answering, he could just pretend that he wasn’t here. That way Zeke could get some sleep. Ra would eventually wonder back home or to Dizzee.

It felt like forever since Zeke has seen Dizzee, they are on good terms, but Diz always seems to be busy with Thor and Zeke also suspects that Dizzee has been spending some time with Shao as well, but he avoids thinking about that. He tries to avoid the notion of Shao altogether. If he doesn’t he’ll start feeling even more guilty and lonely.

Signing loudly and pushing his afro back with stress, he opens the door. Ra is standing looking at him excitedly- he is also wearing one of Zeke’s jackets that Zeke assumes he left at his house.

“Look what I found!?” He beams doing a little twirl while laughing.

“My jacket.” Zeke states.

“Yeah, I had to go out of my way and protect it from Dizzee, he kept trying to put buttons on it and paint the sleeves. Since Boo got taken away Dizz has been on a button rampage! I think he’s stressed about the whole thing, blaming himself or something. Luckily ever since Shao gave him a room at the temple- oh shit, sorry, I wasn’t supposed to tell you that. Zeke, sorry, wanna go see Star Wars again!?”

Zeke chuckled, at least Ra Ra looked a little ashamed of bringing up Shao. “Yeah, we can go see it again, if you want. Keep the jacket.”

-

Ra Ra was radiating, he didn’t know why, but he loved getting to spend time with Zeke alone. It had been rare since Shao came into the picture, but these past few weeks Ra could have Zeke all to himself again. They had a connection like no other. Zeke understood him. All the others seemed annoyed by him, but Zeke never told him to shut up or stop rambling.

They we’re currently in line at the movies. They have already seen it multiple times, but Zeke doesn’t mind fueling Ra’s new obsession. Ra Ra couldn’t wait to see it again, not only for the movie itself, but something about the theatre and especially this movie made Zeke glow. Maybe it was the explosions bursting colors onto Zeke’s face or his obnoxious laughing at the small jokes or the goofy reactions to the drama.

After about the 4th time seeing the movie, Zeke started dozing off during the first half. This time was no exception. Usually Ra Ra would shake him awake and get on to him for missing the action, but Zeke really did look exhausted standing in line- he’ll let Zeke sleep through it this time. He kept looking over at Zeke awkwardly and eventually he found himself staring at the sleeping form instead of the film.

Zeke was highlighted by tatooine’s purple sky. His cheeks tinted pink by the heat of the small-damp room. Breaths coming out of soft parted lips. Ra was entranced by the sight of it. He quickly looked around, there was no one else in here with them, it seemed.

He leaned closer to Zeke and softly traced his top lip with his thumb. As soon at the blunt of his nail grazed his beauty mark there was a loud explosion in the movie. Startled, he took his hand away and faced back towards the screen.

His hand shook with need to finish tracing the bottom lip but he ignored it, instead wrapping Zeke’s jacket around him tighter and continuing watching the movie.

-

Zeke woke up at the credits, but he still felt extremely tired and the ache in his chest didn’t go away.

He looked over at Ra who was still focused deeply at the screen, laughing quietly at Ra’s admiration for the film, Zeke spoke up. “How was it this time?”

“Oh, oh, um, it was better than the last time. The ending still makes me want more. I think Luke is still my favorite. Leia is beautiful, isn’t she? Yeah, she’s pretty. I bet here and Luke will end up together. Yeah.” Ra spoke rapidly still staring point blank into the screen. He looked really tense, it was a tad worrying, but Zeke ignored it.

“Yeah” Zeke mumbled back, laughing this time awkwardly. “I don’t see how you can watch something over and over, but it is a really good movie.”

“Yeah, we let’s get out of here.”

-

They ended up walking to a nearby park. Ra seemed more at ease now, which was a huge relief for Zeke.

He even got Ra Ra to have a race and check out some amateur graffiti the behind the swings. They ended up sitting on those very same swings. Discussing everything from the movie, to school, to Zeke’s disdain but respect for his aunt’s boyfriend, to Ra’s crush on Tanya, and then to Dizzee theories on aliens.

Zeke still felt drained and he still felt that melancholic rain sprinkling his skin, entering his body through the roots of his hairs. He found himself staring at his arm hair and thinking of lines in his head. He pulls his notepad out of his back pocket,

**_Clear rain_ **

**_Sinks into my skin_ **

**_And that rain_ **

**_It brings something else in_ **

**_Despair_ **

**_And_ **

**_Pain_ **

**_Runs through my brain-_ **

He stops writing when he sees Ra jump up for his swinging seat.

“Look!! Here comes Dizzee and Thor!” Ra Ra said happily, though shortly after his face soured and he bitterly whispered. “and Shaolin...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!  
> xx  
> Thank you for the kind words and kudos!  
> Love,  
> Zemi
> 
> (( Also! Here is my tumblr! https://unearthlyzemi.tumblr.com/  
> If you guys want to send me prompts, asks, or just talk, I will gladly talk to you or answer prompts! I will also pick someone's prompt and write another story based on it! Just say "Write about this, Zemi!" and I will pick one of these to turn into a chaptered story. ))


	5. Shortcake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shaolin, Dizzee, and Thor meet up with Ra Ra and Zeke

Shao lost his breath the moment he saw Zeke, he felt horrible. Zeke is going to hate him more now. Even knowing this, he couldn’t wait to hear Zeke’s deep voice.

He loved his voice.

He loved him.

He doesn’t know when he started loving Zeke, all he knows is that loving Zeke was like eating a strawberry shortcake full of broken glass, topped off with thick whipped cream.

Shao’s has to close his eyes just to stop staring at Zeke on the swing. He missed him so much. The physical hurt of missing him was coming back, ironically, now that’s he near him.  
-

Zeke leaps from the swing as soon as he sees Shao. For a second, Shao is worried he might run away from them, but he doesn’t, instead he hovers closely behind Ra Ra. Which sends a twinge of jealously through Shao.

Speaking of Ra, he looked pissed. He’s standing tall with his chest puffed out, trying to look big and tough. The scene honestly looks silly, Zeke towers high above Ra and Ra couldn’t fight off Shao if he really needed to. Shao holds back a laugh and sneers at the ground instead.

“What the- what is he doing here!?” Ra yells towards Dizz and Thor.

Thor stays silent, knowing it isn’t his place to speak up yet. He only came to support Dizzee, they’re so in love it drives Shao crazy. Dizzee steps forwards hands up in a mock of surrender.

“Ra, brother, we have bigger problems right now, the universe is chewing us, we just want it to spit us out.”

“What are you talking about Dizz?” Ra questions, confused. Shao can’t blame him. Dizzee talks in mysteries, but Shao isn’t really paying attention to either of them.

Instead he has returned his gaze towards Zeke. Shao bites his lip, Zeke looks exhausted and he has never been this quiet. B, was the wordiest person Shao’s ever met. It’s one of his favorite things about him. Still looking at Zeke he also notices he looks weighed down,and he hopes Books is doing okay. He hopes that his aunt and her boyfriend are treating him good and that he applied to lots of different colleges or what the fuck ever he has to do to get out of the Bronx.

Those thoughts makes Shao bite his lip harder- drawing blood. He should be furious with Zeke, with all the shit Zeke told him- said about him. For making him a faggot, for making him feel this way, for leaving him...

Wiping the blood off his lip with the back of his hand, he speaks up. “Yo, enough of this talking things out shit. You and Books are coming with us to Annie’s, fucking tomorrow, you got that!?”

“Shao.” Thor warned.

“What…?” Zeke finally speaks up, not sounding like himself, sounding distant and sleep deprived. “Annie’s, why?”

Dizzee then thankfully took over for Shao, because hearing Book's voice made Shao unexpectedly (kinda expectedly?) freeze. “We don’t have a choice, it’s for Boo.” Dizz’s voice was shaking a little bit as he spoke.

“Annie said ripping the contracts didn’t count. She wants all of you there tomorrow, Boo will be there, she got him out of trouble, for now. That woman is a lying snake though, she may not have even gotten him out!” Thor continued, upset. Shao didn't even think of that, what if what she said was just a big lie? Does she even have the power to get him out from behind bars?

Ra moved directly in front of Zeke and looked ready to fight with them, but Zeke stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.

When Ra looked at Zeke, Zeke just nodded somberly.

“But… Zeke, she’s a gangster…you hate gangsters” Ra mumbled lowly at him.

Zeke looked away, eyes closed and hand in his hair. “I know Ra, but it’s for Boo, we can’t just leave him alone with her. She might be lyin' but we can't know that.”

Zeke looked so dispirited, Shao wanted to tell him to just forget this whole conversation- he would go to fat Annie alone and trade something in for Boo’s freedom if she had him, trade anything to get them out of her manicured grasp- even his life.

"Fine." Ra agreed.

\-----

Hours had passed since they left the park and now they all, including Napoleon were sitting in Shao’s temple. It was quiet, no one knowing what to say or how to properly express their rage towards the situation or at each other.

Thor tried to get them talking by asking Zeke if he heard from Mylene since she left, Zeke told them about her calling one day and telling him she’s the happiest she’s ever been, and her and Yolanda had gotten close, real close. Ra Ra scrunched his nose at that, but Dizzee smiled, delighted that his sister was finally carefree. Shao was somewhat shocked that Zeke didn’t seem that bummed when he talked about Mylene being with Yolanda- he, of course, seemed sad that Mylene was living the dream without him, but he also acted surprisingly good-natured about the whole thing.

After that conversation, it was less awkward, but still uncomfortably quiet. Thor and Dizzee were sharing a cigarette and Ra was telling Napoleon the plot of Star Wars, but Shao noticed how his eyes kept wondering to Zeke, which made him wonder about Ra's relationship with Tanya, but he wasn’t going to ask- Ra still looked like he was ready to fight him and all Shao wanted to do was get tomorrow over with.

Zeke was sitting on the couch in front of Shao, next to Ra and Leon, this gave Shao a position where he could read Zeke’s messy poems, if he wanted, he thought about the game he used to play, but Zeke was acting so differently and he really wanted to know what was going on inside his head, so he decided to say, ‘fuck Zeke’s privacy’ and secretly look over Book's lithe form to see the heavy pencil marks.

**_pain coursing through my ribs --_ **

**_\--nd fear rattling me insane_ **

**_meet at the crossroad_ **

**_-my heart – unknown terrain_ **

**_I see_ **

**_gangsters_ **

**_blood_ **

**_and gore_ **

**_my mom so pure_ **

**_shot in the brain_ **

**_what will be my outcome?_ **

**_just like her I will be chained to my fate_ **

**_to my soulmate_ **

**_can you regain your reign_ **

**_or contain your rage_ **

**_when it’s me_ **

**_with a bullet in my_ **

**_brain ??_ **

**_or should I end the misery now_ **

**_fuck it and open a vein-_ **

**_-_ **

Shaolin couldn’t see it all clearly but what he saw made him want to throw up- the words haunted every movement he made as he walked slowly to his turn tables and uncovered them unsoundly. He picked the same records he played at their first performance as The Get Down Brothers, and didn’t think as he began to let the music fill the room, hands instinctually moving with the records.

Life filled the temple once more as Thor pulled Dizzee up and they began to dance around the room, Napoleon was laughing at Ra’s attempt to dance as well. Zeke put down his notepad and smiled, with some effort, over at Shaolin.

Then, Books looked nervous as he ran his hands through his afro for a minute before standing up taking a few steps back and forth and then making his way towards Shao. When he finally reached Shao’s side he let his hand rest on Shao’s arm before whispering. “We’ll make it right again.” This time Zeke's smile was genuine as he picked up an old-ratty mic and began,

_-Yo, yo, MC Books in the buildin', slipped in cleverly_

_So deadly, punch the flows heavenly..._

-

With every verse Zeke rapped Shaolin tasted whipped cream and strawberries, and he relished in it.

This is what loving Zeke was, after all, mouthfuls of strawberry shortcake, filled with broken glass, topped off with thick whipped cream.

Every morsel he is risking chomping on broken glass.

Risking slashes across his gums and shards sticking through his tongue, blood pouring from his mouth. He doesn't care.

Fuck he’d risk it, all of it for one fucking bite of strawberry, for one lick of whipped cream, he’d risk it all to sink his teeth in Zeke's love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, earthlings!  
> So sorry for the wait!! I really wanted this chapter to be good! Let me know what you think!  
> Comments encourage me to continue this when I don't feel great about my writing skills.  
> Thank you so much for all the kudos!  
> Love,  
> Zemi


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